(Ep. 77): SR Podcast - October 2016

October 24, 2016

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YOUTUBE LINK

CHECK US OUT

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

On this spooktacular Halloween episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys discuss everything that goes bump in the night...from Deadpool director woes to a Captain Planet film from Leo. Matthew solves the mystery that is the Madea films. And the boys try to guess each other's Halloween costumes in a segment we're calling What Are You Supposed To Be. All that and more on this pumpkin spice latte version of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES

Madea film

Westworld

John Phillips

Pitch

Captain Planet by Leo

MUSIC

Halloween Theme by John Carpenter

It's The Great Pumpkin Waltz by Vince Guaraldi

Who Can It Be Now by Men At Work 

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(Ep.76): Child’s Play 2 - Movie Commentary: Oct 2016

October 21, 2016

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Child's Play 2 

Play trailer on YouTube

1990 Slasher/Thriller1h 24m  
 

Movie Commentary Friday! (Is that a thing?)

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Hey everyone! Welcome to another Movie Commentary. Halloween is creeping up on us so we're continuing with some more movies about murdering. Only this time its a grown man trapped into the workings of a children's doll. (Cue Disney themed music)

Whats that?! Another bloody movie commentary that involves children? Yeah we know. Listen we didn't plan this out, it was purely random. But hey guess what? Luck is on our side because Child's Play 2 is a million times better then that last one, especially in story structure.

So sit back and watch out for that old toy you forgot about in your closet. You know the one that you witness a man doing black magic on when Dad and you went to the bank that one time. Sure you remember, don't you? You know when the cops came and shot up the place? And as he pulled his bullet riddled-bloody body, he knew the only way to live was to transport his soul into your favorite toy?

No...why would you...that was me.

 

CHECK US OUT

 

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(Ep. 75): Beware! Children at Play - Movie Commentary: October 2016

October 17, 2016

Welcome to another Friday Night Family Movie Night!

Family-Movie-Night.jpg

X267-Children-Play.png Beware! Children at Play

1hr 34mins | Horror | 1989 

Well that happened...

DJ and Justin just watched Beware Children at Play. And...Well...It's not so great. It is a slow boring movie that only picks up right at the end. Sure the topic of murdering demoniac crazy children is a fun idea to use in a movie but if you don't do anything with it then its pretty lousy. Hopefully the movie next time is a bit more enjoyable to watch, because even though this trailer looked amazing, the final product was just lame.

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(Ep. 74): SR Podcast - September 2016

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

This month's show is themed around the genius of the late and great Gene Wilder. As we honor his legacy, we create our very own film monstrosities with a new segment called, "Frankenstein's Monster." Think soap in pillow cases and jackets with scorpions on the back...

We also "blaze" our own saddles and whip out some news in "Excuse Me While I Whip This Out." All this, and antics galore on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES

MUSIC

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(Ep. 73): Friday the 13th Part III - Movie Commentary: August 2016

October 17, 2016

Friday the 13th Part III

1982 | Slasher | 1hr 35min

Welcome to the first ever 3D Podcast! How is a audio only podcast in 3D? We have no idea...

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Requested by Bradley Taylor,

Friday the 13th Part III once again follows murderer Jason Voorhees, who as a child drowned off the waters of Camp Crystal Lake. Is there anyone that can put an end to Jason's murderous rampage? 

Friday the 13th Part III is a 1982 American 3D slasher film directed by Steve Miner and the third installment in the Friday the 13th film series. Originally released in 3-D, it is the first film to feature antagonist Jason Voorhees wearing his signature hockey mask, which has become a trademark of both the character and franchise, as well an icon in American cinema and horror films in general. As a direct sequel to Friday the 13th (1980) and Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), the film follows a group of co-eds on vacation at a house on Crystal Lake, where Jason Voorhees has taken refuge. (IMDB)

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(Ep. 72): SR Podcast - August 2016

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

On this August edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys come back from their vacation and catch up with what they missed.  JD Duran from Insession Film joins them for a game of Word Association and a brand new game called Simplistic Submarine.  The entire Insession family also helps the boys with their ode to Jason Bourne.  Yo-Ho-Ho mateys! All that and more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES

Dr. Strange Trailer

Wonder Woman Trailer

Justice League Trailer

Blair Witch Trailer

Kong Skull Island Trailer

Rocketeers

Fantastic Beasts Trailer

Hacksaw Ridge Trailer

MUSIC

Let It Happen By Tame Impala

1976 By RJD2

I Dream Of genie Remix 

Chronos By Hi-Finesse 

Check us out on FacebookTwitterYouTubeLetterboxd, and Pinterest


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(Ep. 71): Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice - Ultimate Edition - Movie Commentary: July 2016

October 17, 2016

Batman V Superman

 2016 | Superhero | 181 minutes

how-wonder-woman-casually-stole-the-show

Batman-V-Superman-Trailer-Fight-Heat-VisToday on this 4th of July we fight a 3hr war, one we thought we would lose. But we made it through all 3hrs of Zack Snyder's poor choices to bring you another Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary. We're sure you have better things to do today. Drink and Eating come to mind. But the time may come when you must watch that

BvS2.0.jpgBatman V Superman

Dawn of Justice

Ultimate Edition

Extended Cut

Collectors Edition

Movie Commentary

Christ that's a mouthful. Then lets watch it together. A army of one. A uprising to be independent from unbelievable plot holes in a $250 million dollar movie. I mean it's crazy to think these people are professionals and still somehow find work.

wonder-woman-batman-vs-superman-prequel-

So remember young ones. You don't need to jam 10 pounds of shit into a 5 pound bag. Fill up that first bag with all that needed shit and grab another 5 pound bag to finish stuffing that shit. Because having two bags of shit is okay, not one overstuffed bag of shit with plot holes throughout its 3hr run time is okay. Shit boys and girl, that just doesn't fly!

 


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(Ep. 70): Picasso Trigger - Movie Commentary: June 2016

October 17, 2016

mKShuvg.pnghqdefault.jpgPicasso Trigger

1988 | Action | 1hr 39mins

 

It's Friday! So we thought another  

Movie Commentary was in order!

Continuing our marathon of the one and only Andy Sidaris. If this is your first time, Sidaris is the king of B-Rated films that pretty much only contains the 3 elements any film really ever needs Bullets, Babes and Sex!

Today we let lose on Picasso Trigger, another solid entry into the Sidaris legacy. 

"Double agent Picasso Trigger is assassinated in Paris by double-crossing bad guy Miguel Ortiz. Then Ortiz begins eliminating agents of The Agency who were involved in his brother's death. The Agency (belatedly) springs into action to stop Ortiz' heinous activities. The usual gunplay, romance, and nifty toys with bombs ensue." 

 So grab a cold one and get ready for a thrill of a lifetime, because kids this is...

 Picasso Trigger!

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(Ep. 69): SR Podcast - May 2016

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

On the May edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast...Justin Polizzi...absolutely...LOSES IT!  Matt and DJ are powerless to stop him from  embracing the dark side and unleashing his anger about the new Ghostbusters movies...and Finding Dory...and Spider-Man Homecoming...and the television upfront trailers for Lethal Weapon, MacGyver and Training Day.  Polizzi's unbridled rage and fury sends the show toppling down into a dark abyss of obscenities and inappropriate behavior with household pets. An abyss the show may never ever be able to recover from.  Now doesn't that sound like a show that you should listen to?!  All that and more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES

Lethal Weapon Television Series

Training Day Television Series

MacGyver Television Series

Tetris Film

Joe Pesci Rap Song "Wise Guy"

Ghostbusters Trailer 2

MUSIC

1976 By RJD2

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

Action In Memphis By Johnny Pearson

Let It Happen By Tame Impala

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(Ep. 68): SR Podcast - BONUS CONTENT

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY


If you listened to the cold open to Episode 68 of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, guest starring Matty Negs from Negs Best Thing and Al Pacino, you might have heard Julie in the background taping something in the recording studio.  In this Bonus Content clip, you can hear exactly what she was saying on her side of the glass.

Check us out on FacebookTwitterYouTubeLetterboxd, and Pinterest

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(Ep. 68): SR Podcast - April 2016

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

On this “Spring Cleaning” episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Matty Negs from Negs Best Thing Podcast helps us talk remakes of TV shows, reboots of Robin Williams films, Game Of Thrones, Prince, Coolio, and movie character fights to the death.  Oh and Al Pacino reads the phone book for us. All that and more on the April edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.


Notes

Music


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(Ep. 67): Police Academy 4 - Movie Commentary: April 2016

October 17, 2016

SPACE.pngReady for another Police Academy Movie Commentary?

Nether are we...

But hey this is the last movie in the series and without a doubt better then that last one. 

So for that last time (Thank God)

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Grab that popcorn, get ready for dick jokes and enjoy the fact that there is no more Comdt. Mauser

Ladies and Gentlemen this is...

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol

1987 | 1hr 28min | Comedy

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We are finally done! Every Single Police Academy Film has been commented on by the gang at Simplistic Reviews.

Every Single One...

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(Ep. 66): SR Podcast - March 2016

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

On this ORDER 66 Episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys get prepped for Batman V Superman with a brand new skit.  Matt accepts our award from GeekCast Radio Network for best podcast. And to prove that they can be fair, the boys play a round of Simply Say Anything.  Trailers, Indiana Jones, and Daredevil talk.  All this and more on the March edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.


Notes


Music

In Your Eyes By Peter Gabriel

Check us out on FacebookTwitterYouTubeLetterboxd, and Pinterest

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(Ep. 65): SR 2016 Oscar Prediction Podcast

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

You've heard from the experts...now hear from the madmen from Simplistic Reviews as they predict who will and who should win at the 2016 Oscars.  Don't worry, the boys do their best to skate around the #OscarsSoWhite issue.  What, are you kidding?  They tackle it head on with enough irreverence that even Spike Lee flinch.  They also tackle other topics like R rated animation, Jennifer Lawrence on the precipise of being hated, and Harvey Fierstein...a lot of Harvey Fierstein.  All that and more on the Simplistic Reviews Oscar Prediction Podcast

NOTES

Harvey Fierstein in Independence Day

Morgan Freeman Car Accident

MUSIC

Hot Shot By Saun & Star

Across 110th Street By Bobby Womack

Strawberry Letter 23 By The Brothers Johnson

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(Ep. 64): SR Podcast - February 2016

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

 

 On this Law & Order/Valentine's Day-centric episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Jay Cluitt from Life Vs. Film and the Lamb joins the boys to discuss important topics like Earl Grey, Parliament, Paul Giamatti, Mr. T, and Christopher Walken.  Also the boys take some time to admit some of their worst movie and television sins in another edition of Simply Ashamed.

All that and more on the Simplistic Reviews Podcast

NOTES:

FX Film

Life Vs. Film

Earl Grey

Billions

MUSIC

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

It's A Shame Remix By The Spinners

Law & Order Theme By Mike Post

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(Ep. 63): Malibu Express - Movie Commentary: February 2016

October 17, 2016

Malibu Express

1985 | Crime/Mystery | 1hr 45mins

FUN

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

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image.jpgCody Abiliene is a semi-successful private detective desperately in need of a big (and well-paying) case. When he's hired to solve the murder of Contessa Luciana's husband, he jumps at the chance. In between investigating the many women around the Contessa's estate, Abilene eventually uncovers a complex case of espionage and blackmail. 

So Police Academy 3: Back in Training SUCKED! Don't worry we Love You (only you)! So we have you covered, Malibu Express is the shit (the good shit). Part of the Bullets Bombs and Babes collection from Andy Sidaris, Malibu Express keeps its silliness but adds more to its story then that of Hard Ticket to Hawaii.

Sure Ticket was fun as well but bringing a bit of mystery to an already entertaining film is going the extra mile. Something Police Academy 3 never did.

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(Ep. 62): Police Academy 3: Back in Training - Movie Commentary: February 2016

October 17, 2016

Police Academy 3: Back in Training

1986 | Comedy(?) | 1hr 23mins

SHIT

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

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We did it! Call us crazy but we did it!

556cb8045aecb3349949076c420919bf.jpg1001full-police-academy-3--back-in-trainWhen police funding is cut, Governor Neilson announces that one of the city's two police academies will have to be closed down. To make it fair, Neilson announces a competition to determine which academy will stay opened. Commandant Eric Lassard calls back some of his former students to train the new batch of students, hoping to get the edge on the rival academy, which is run by Commandant Mauser. Lassard's new instructors, the former students he has brought back, include Carey Mahoney, Eugene Tackleberry, Moses Hightower, Debbie Callahan, Larvell Jones, Laverne Hooks, and Douglas Fackler.

Among the new students at Lassard's academy are Cadet Nogata, Cadet Karen Adams, Cadet Bud Kirkland, Cadet Sarah, Cadet Hedges, former gang leader Zed, and Zed's roommate, Cadet Sweetchuck. In order to increase his own academy's chances of winning, Mauser persuades two of Lassard's officers, Kyle Blanks and Chad Copeland, to turn traitor and help Mauser. The competition becomes complicated when a local marina is robbed by a gang of thieves who are dressed as busboys. 

 Police Academy 3 is in the can, sure its a can full of shit, but it is in the can none the less.  Since we are doing a Double Feature this Super Bowl Sunday, and we do love you, best thing to do would be just to skip this one and Listen to the Second Podcast. Trust us we are looking out for you.

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Simplistic Theater: Star Wars -The Complete Saga (Episodes I-VI)

October 17, 2016

The%2BComplete%2BSaga%2B%2528Episodes%2B

George Lucas did it.

Why can't we?

We figured it was best since today
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

comes out. 

So don't get mad and if you would like to write out letter to complain, send that mail to

5858 Lucas Valley Road, Nicasio, CA 94946

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Simplistic Theater Episode VI : Star Wars - Return Of The Jedi

October 17, 2016

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With only 1 day till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is

Simplistic Theater

And today we bring you

Episode VI
Return Of The Jedi

 

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Simplistic Theater Episode V : Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back

October 17, 2016

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With only 2 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is

Simplistic Theater

And today we bring you

Episode V
The Empire Strikes Back

 

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Simplistic Theater Episode IV : Star Wars - A New Hope

October 17, 2016

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With only 3 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is

Simplistic Theater

And today we bring you

Episode IV
A New Hope

 

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Simplistic Theater Episode III : Star Wars - Revenge Of The Sith

October 17, 2016

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With only 4 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is

Simplistic Theater

And today we bring you

Episode III
Revenge Of The Sith 

 

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Simplistic Theater Episode II : Star Wars - Attack Of The Clones

October 17, 2016

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With only 5 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is

Simplistic Theater

And today we bring you

Episode II
Attack Of The Clones

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Simplistic Theater Episode I : Star Wars - The Phantom Menace

October 17, 2016

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With only 6 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is

Simplistic Theater

And today we bring you

Episode I
The Phantom Menace 


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(Ep. 61): SR Podcast - January 2016

October 17, 2016


FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

Happy Jew Year friends and family. The Simplistic Reviews Crew is back, and boy are they going to let you have it....not their virginity, we're all still clearly waiting for the right one to give that away to....

This month the boys try to find a way to make "Making a Murderer" the new #1 Comedy on CBS, to DJ's everylasting black rage involving Michael Bay as Transformers 69 is coming soon. We even throw in a little TV talk, and introduce a brand new game segment where we decide who lives or dies in "Simplistic Fisticuffs."

All this, plus we finally catch up with the asshat responsible for the deaths of both David Bowie and Alan Rickman in this super-sized, jam-packed edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES:

Bowie Being Bowie

Rickman Being Rickman

Bay Being Bay

MUSIC

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

Syd Dale By The Hell Raisers

1976 By RJD2

Cast Your Fate To The Wind By Vince Guaraldi

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(Ep. 60): SR Podcast - December 2015

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

On this holiday episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Matthew's Judeism is put to the test, Justin continues to try and make sense of the Prequels, DJ laments over Die Hard, and the boys have a hell of a time writing letters to Santa, spinning dreidels and breaking down the finale of Fargo.  All this and more on our Ho-Ho-Ho Holiday Show.


NOTES

Quentin vs Disney

Independence Day 2 Trailer

TMNT 2 Trailer

X-Men: Apocalypse Trailer

MUSIC

Die Hard Score By Michael Kamen

Couple Of Misfits By Burt Ives

Christmas Time Is Here By Vince Guaraldi Trio

Christmas In Hollis By Run D.M.C.

Ode To Joy By Ludwig van Beethoven

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(Ep. 59): Icebreaker - Movie Commentary: December 2015

October 17, 2016

sn.jpg

ICEBREAKER

Trailer 

2000 | Action/Drama/Poorly Made | 90mins

At the the Killington ski resort something has gone awry. Evil terrorists led by the sinister Greig have taken the resort hostage with a stolen nuclear device. It's up to Ski Patrol bum Matt Foster to save the day... and his fiancé.

How did someone think a knockoff of Die Hard with Sean Astin would be a good idea?

It's that time of the year! Sunday Night Movie Night! Since the holidays are near and the snow is on the ground we figured Icebreaker is the right choice! (boy are we wrong)

Even MJ gives it his seal of approval. So everyone snuggle up in your blanket, pure some eggnog, get that fire going and sit back and enjoy the 2000 Classic, 

Icebreaker!

FUN FACTS:

IT SUCKS

A PEZ IS USED AS A WEAPON

A VHS IS USED AS A WEAPON

BOMBS COUNT UP IN THIS FILM

IS IT BASED ON A TRUE STORY

NOPE THATS A LIE

SEAN ASTIN IS 14 IN THIS FILM AND EVERY OTHER FILM

TOOK US OVER A YEAR TO TRACK DOWN A COPY

WHAT A WASTE OF A YEAR THAT WAS

SEAN ASTIN HAS A COKE PROBLEM

THIS FILM IS ALL OVER THE PLACE

STACY KEACH SIT 99% OF THE FILM

DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE PEZ?

CHRIST KILL ME!

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HAVE YOU SEEN THIS 14 YEAR OLD BOY?


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(Ep. 58): SR Podcast - November 2015

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCE

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Fall has fallen and the boys at Simplistic Reviews have taken it upon themselves to kick off the Thanksgiving Month right.  There's Ronda Rousey Roadhouse talk, an uncensored Julie, Kelly LeBrock reminiscing and a good old fashioned game of Kill, F%*k, Marry.

All this in more in a turkey filled episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast

NOTES

The Usual Suspects

Ronda Rousey Loss

Woman In Red

Roadhouse

Fargo's Mike Milligan

MUSIC

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

Action In Memphis By John Pearson

The Ususal Suspects Theme By John Ottman

Cast Your Fate To The Wind By Vince Guaraldi

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(Ep. 57): SR Podcast - “Happy” Halloween 3: Season of the Witch: October 2015

October 17, 2016

Happy Halloween!

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Today is Halloween and to celebrate we figured what would be a better way then with the very unappreciated but great...

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

98 mins | Horror | 1982

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES


latest.jpgThe gang gathers around for this Halloween film that doesn't feature Micheal Myers but does feature but not limited to, Killer Halloween Masks! Commercialization of the Halloween! Witchcraft! Androids! Shamrocks! and Tom mofo Atkins! It's a spooky film for a spooky day...now if only we could drink a McDonald's Shamrock Shake with a hit of whiskey that would make this day even better!

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(Ep. 56): SR Podcast - October 2015

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES


To celebrate this creepy time of year, why not hang with the creepiest movie aficionados in the biz.  On this Halloween edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys talk candy...fall TV premieres...Ronda Rousey's Roadhouse and Hayden Christensen.

This episode is filled to the brim with tricks and treats.  Grab your machete, your knife glove, and put on your inside out William Shatner mask and enjoy!

NOTES

Jennifer Lawrence's Hunger Games C-word poster

Sam Smith Writing On the Wall

Ellen Pompeo criticizes Daniel Craig

MUSIC

Created A Monster by B.o.B. 

Murder Was The Case By Snoop Dogg

Bonfire By Childish Gambino

Saw Theme By Charles Clouser

Halloween Theme By John Carpenter

 Check us out on FacebookTwitterYouTubeLetterboxd, and Pinterest

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(Ep. 55): SR Podcast - Hard Ticket To Hawaii - Movie Commentary: September 2015

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

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Today's Sunday Movie is...

Hard Ticket to Hawaii

96mins / Action / 1987

There are films that come and go. Great films that missed the limelight and never get the recognition they deserve.

Then there is Hard Ticket To Hawaii, a film that's not amazing but we are glad it was made. It's a crazy film that feels like they honestly just run and gun it. And even though this film isn't perfect, it is one fun film to watch.

Check out Slaughter Film's Review

Action Movie Time Machine - Hard Ticket to Hawaii

It's a film jam packed full of Bullets, Boobs and Explosions! 

What more can you ask for?

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 Show Notes

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Watch the film with us

Read the Slaughter Film Review

Music Notes

Theme Song

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(Ep. 54): SR Podcast - September 2015

October 17, 2016

     FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

Sharpen your pencils and grab your loose-leaf notebooks.  It's the "back to school" edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  On this episode, the boys tackle Jesse Spano's horrible drug problem, Patty Mayonnaise's slutty behavior, and Max Landis' ego.

Speaking of schooling, Matt and DJ also pay up on a debt and discuss the high school spy film Barely Lethal, starring Oscar nominees Hailee Steinfeld and Samuel L. Jackson...yes...nothing in that sentence was made up.

Bill Cosby, Jared, Kanye, Miley...all get a little ribbing on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

Show Notes

Wes Craven

Jesse Spano freakout

Patti Mayonnaise

Tommy Wiseau & Fantastic 4

Music Notes

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

Saved By The Bell Theme Song

Plain Jane By Sid Phillips

Game Of Thrones Remix

Cast Your Fate To The Wind By Vince Guaraldi


                         Check us out on FacebookTwitterYouTubeLetterboxd, and Pinterest

00:0000:00

(Ep. 53): SR Podcast - August 2015

October 17, 2016

                                                    FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

Alright!  Alright!  The world can keep on spinning, cuz The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back!  The irreverency level of the podcasting universe has just gone up as the boys barrel back into the world of movies and television once again.  First they catch up with some of the stuff they missed with our annual segment Can You Dig It.   Then the boys do a postmortem of True Detective Season 2 and sell Justin on the USA Network Show Mr. Robot.   The boom boxes are held high to close off the show as they once again play the game Simply Say Anything.

Hulk Hogan is dealt with, Sesame Street is repurposed, Hateful 8 is dismissed for legal reason, and The Fantastic Four is laughed at...all on this return episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

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(Ep. 52): Never Too Young To Die - Movie Commentary: August 2015

October 17, 2016

A secret agent is murdered! 

Can his son, a high school gymnast, along with a spy catch the man/woman who killed him? 

Team up with DJ and Justin to find out on the next Monday Night Movie Night!

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Never Too Young To Die

92 mins / Action / 1986

Secret agent Drew Stargrove is brutally murdered by the ruthless Van Ragnar. In this action-packed Bond-style thriller, the murdered secret agent's son, Lance Stargrove is thrust into the dangerous and intriguing world of secret agents and espionage when he seeks revenge against Van Ragnar. Danja Deerling teams up with Lance as his sidekick and love interest. 

Watch along with the film HERE

img_A_145979_5dbc094617a5c6b3201d197b91aTaglines to tickle your fancy!

Stargrove: the new American hero.

gene-simmions-psycho.jpgVanity: the new breed of temptress! Stamos: the new breed of hero!

At the age of 18, every government agency wanted him... dead or alive.

He inherited all his father's enemies and only one of his friends.

Action: Bond style. Beauty: Vanity style. Hero: American style.

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(Ep.51): Back to School - Movie Commentary: July 2015

October 17, 2016

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We are back again for another Monday Night

Movie Night!

Back-to-School-Feature-660x330.jpgAfter that big 50th episode we took a bit of a break and sat down to watch the 1986 classic Back to School. We figured a few laughs was in order since a murder took place on that last podcast.

Back to School

96 mins / Comedy / 1986

"To help his discouraged son get through college, a fun-loving and obnoxious rich businessman decides to enter the school as a student himself."

back-to-school_l.jpgMusic Notes

Back to School - Jude Cole

Twist and Shout - Rodney Dangerfield

Back To School - Oingo Boingo

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(Ep.50): SR Podcast - Extravaganza!: June 2015

October 17, 2016

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FOR (MOSTLY) IMMATURE AUDIENCES

Normal podcasts usually hit their 50th podcast roughly before their first year of existence.  Good podcasts that pump out constant content on a normal basis won't even make a big deal about their 50th podcast.  Superior podcasts will look at what we're doing and probably scoff at our sheer ineptitude to barely put out a single podcast every month.  Well, it's a good thing that we are neither normal, good, and...well...the only time we've been called superior is when we show up to our parole hearings on time.  Come to think of it, I better call Justin, I haven't heard from him in a while.

With that being said, get ready for some "high"-jinks as DJ, Justin, and Matt celebrate in style with the 50th edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  There will be laughs galore as the guys invite, or some might say "force", guests from other more well-received podcasts to share in their debauchery.  Guests like JD Duran from the Insession Film Podcast. Barry and Jairo from the homo"neurotic" True Bromance Podcast.  Let's not forget, damn I forgot his name...oh yeah...The Vern, from the As You Watch Podcast.  Throw in a touch of Tim Costa from The First Time Watchers Podcast, Elwood from The Depths of DVD Hell, and a guest so special and so...well...scary, that even I can't tell you who it is.

Oh, so you're not impressed with that guest list?  Well, how about the thrilling conclusion to our months long saga of Julie and her quest to kill the Simplistic Reviews guy?  Yeah, you forgot about that didn't you?  Well...yeah...now you're gonna get some closure.

Finally, we talk a trip back in time to the segment that put us on the map; Word Association with Justin, where we ask Justin about things in the news and he gives a monosyllabic answer.

All that, and so much more on this petty way to celebrate mediocrity with The Simplistic Review Podcast's 50th episode.  Oh, by the way, the show is like 3 hours long, but what else are you going to do, watch the extended cut of "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King?"  Hmmmm, wait, that actually does sound like a good idea.

Show Notes

Insession Film Podcast

As You Watch Podcast

From The Depths of DVD Hell & MBDS Showcase

True Bromance Podcast

First Time Watchers Podcast

Life Vs. Film

Music Notes

Back to the Future Theme By Alan Silvestri

Inside the Actors Studio Theme By Angelo Badalamenti

It's A Shame By The Spinners

I Dream Of Jeanie Remix

Time By Jungle

Liar Liar By The Castaways

Action In Memphis By Johnny Pearson

Soy Bomb By Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives 

Cast Your Fate To The Wind By Allen Toussaint

Vince McMahon Theme By Jim Johnston and  Peter Bursuker

Dynasty Theme By Bill Conti


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(Ep. 49): SR Podcast - June 2015

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

This is it! The penultimate episode before 50th episode extravaganza!

You'll swoon for June as the boys discover that there is no safe joke to be made about Caitlyn Jenner.  They instead decide to tackle stories such as a Big Trouble In Little China reboot, a Jack Bauer spinoff, and a James Bond free for all on Simplistic Showcase.  Justin and DJ later pay off a debt and discuss the 2014 horror anomaly that is Ouija.  A conversation that introduces not one, not two, but three new characters.  There is also the introduction of an old game played in a new way known as Simplistic Password.  And The ongoing mystery between the boys and Julie reaches its climax.

Oh and Shia Labeouf closes out the show.

All this and more on a highly questionable, slightly offensive, Smokey and the Bandit themed episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

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(Ep. 48): Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment - Movie Commentary - May 2015

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2Ftheawesome80s.netIt's Monday 

Movie Night

Movie Commentary!

Police Academy 2: 

Their First Assignment

1985 / Comedy / 87 mins

We already watched the classic Police Academy. 

So now we continue this marathon with its sequel Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment.

Many movie franchises have had equality or superior sequels. Movie franchises like The Godfather, The Dark Knight, Star Wars. Police Academy 2 is not one of them. In fact its the complete opposite and is a pretty bad film with only one good take away, Zed.

So sit back with the popcorn as we try to get though by having a few laughs at the expense of this weak sequel.

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Check us out on FacebookTwitterYouTubeLetterboxd, and Pinterest

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(Ep. 47): SR Podcast - May 2015

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

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In honor of Mother's Day, The Simplistic Reviews Podcast has assembled their regular team of badass motherf*%kers to ring in the month of May. They touch on Suicide Squad...they touch on the Joss Whedon haters...they touch on Tom Brady's balls...all in an effort to entertain you.  So sit back, give it a listen, and say hello to your mother for me.

6:37 Simplistic Showcase

36:53 TV Roundup

59:44 Hey F*%khead

Also as a special treat...here is an outtake that was too ridiculous not to share with the world

Show Notes

Redrum

Ally McBeal

Andy Kaufman

Lord Humongous

Music Notes

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals

Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul

The Great Escape Theme By Paul Bateman


                         Check us out on FacebookTwitterYouTubeLetterboxd, and Pinterest

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(Ep. 46): SR Podcast - Late April Podcast 2015

October 17, 2016

StiticherlogoCAST.pngFOR MATURE AUDIENCES

You might be asking yourself, "What?! Another Simplistic Reviews Podcast?  You mean these guys are actually getting off of their ass and putting out content for the public to consume?"  Yes, it might sound crazy, but.....uh....yeah....another podcast....from us.....Simplistic Reviews.

As we get closer and closer to our grandest episode so far; Number 50, we look back at our lives and search for meaning, apparently that means we bring up Bill Cosby again, the fact that Iceman is now gay, Donatello is dead, and fantasize about Moira Quirk in that sexy referee outfit...mmmmmm.....

All this, and our newest segment, Simply Say Anything, where we hold a radio over our head and praise the likes of Lena Dunham, Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, and explain why Quentin Tarantino is actually the worst director in modern cinema.  Have we lost our minds.....maybe....but we're not telling, and you'll just have to listen to this month's SIMPLISTIC REVIEWS PODCAST!!!!  WHY AM I YELLING...IN PRINT?!?!?!

  SHOW NOTES

Moira Quirk

Spider-man Shortlist

Tarantino in Sleep With Me

Donny is Dead

Iceman Gay?

Mark Summers' non-Double Dare accident

MUSIC NOTES

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals

Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul

In Your Eyes By Peter Gabriel

Nickelodeon GUTS theme

Human Beings By Van Halen

Check us out on FacebookTwitterYouTubeLetterboxd, and Pinterest

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(Ep. 45): Slaughter High - Movie Commentary: April 2015

October 17, 2016

Movie Commentary Time!

slaughterhigh1.jpgSlaughter High

1986 - 90 mins - Slasher/Horror

Today we watch and make fun of the 90 min B-Slasher film, Slaughter High. We know what you are saying, "It's finally here!" Since the Podcast gang has been talking about Slaughter High numerous times on Podcasts and even a episode on Unboxing/Reviews.

Slaughter High is about eight people that are invited to their 10-year high school reunion at their now-closed down high school where a former student, disfigured from a prank gone wrong, is there to seek revenge. Simple and to the point but it's got its issues.

Slaughter High is a fun, entertaining film of which everyone should see. If you haven't this is the perfect time to watch!

Also this Movie Commentary is sponsor by Tide Stick!

Remember kids, if you go on a murderous rampage bring along a Tide Stick!

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(Ep. 44): Police Academy - Movie Commentary: April 2015

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES


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Today is movie commentary day! Today we watch the one and only Police Academy.

There isn't another movie in the likes of Police Academy. I mean how many movies include a human soundboard, extreme racism, a man in a horses ass and a surprise blow job to a 100 year old man (that could possibly be or not be by Steve Guttenberg).

Sounds like the perfect ingredients for the perfect film right? Well it is one of the funniest comedies ever made. So cue up that VHS copy of Police Academy and prepare to laugh at one of the more ridiculous comedies ever made.

 SHOW NOTES

Vampire Academy Joke


Police Academy - Trailer


Police Academy - Theme Song



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(Ep. 43): SR Podcast - April 2015

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES


Play-Doh!  YA Vamp movies! Good Friday & Passover Combined!  Get ready for the most eclectic episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast yet.  Justin and DJ finally pay their debts to Matthew by finally reviewing Vampire Academy.  And by reviewing...we mean trashing the hell out of it.  They also discuss how Fox does something right with Deadpool...then something way, way wrong with Play-Doh.  They also get their Artful Dodger on with the return of the segment Get Your Hand Out My Pocket.  Guard your jewels in this Holy edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

  SHOW NOTES

Play-Doh

Vampire Academy

Mad Max: Fury Road

Spectre

Best of Pennywise

Deadpool April Fools

We're No Angels

MUSIC NOTES

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals

Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul

Plain Jane By Sid Phillips

The He-Man Opening That The Boys Are Spoofing

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(Ep. 42): Nobody’s Perfect - Movie Commentary: March 2015

October 17, 2016


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Thursday Movie Night!

Tonight's Movie Commentary is a little unknown film called

Nobody's Perfect

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1990 - PG13 - 90mins - Comedy

Starring the famous Lowe brother, Chad Lowe. Nobody's Perfect is about Stephen (possibly looking for a way to cross dress) is a tennis loving college student you falls for Shelly a chick who apparently can't pick the right guys. To get closer Stephen becomes Stephanie to befriend Shelly. It's all wacky fun from there...oh and rape. 


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(Ep. 41): SR Podcast - March 2015

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

The Ides of March Approaches...and so does the March 2015 edition the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  On this episode the boys chastise the person responsible for allowing a 72 year old Harrison Ford into an airplane.  Justin discovers a brand new...um...old show that is hilarious in all the right ways.  DJ questions if the Tommy Lee Jones we've seen in public is the real Tommy Lee Jones.  And Matt saves the lives of 3 people while eradicating another from existence.  All that and more on this 1.21 gigawatt powered episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

 SHOW NOTES

1.21 gigawatts 

Danger 5

Harrison Ford plane crash

Diablo Barbie

Age of Ultron Trailer

Danny Elfman Music in Age of Ultron 

Tommy Lee Jones commercial

Black & Blue or White & Gold Dress

MUSIC NOTES

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

Back To The Future Theme By Alan Silvestri 

Back To The Future II Theme By Alan Silvestri

Back To The Future III Theme By Alan Silvestri

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals

Welcome Back By Mase

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(Ep. 40): SR Oscar Prediction Podcast 2015

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

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Hooray for Hollywood? Naw, it's time to skewer Hollywood and rip them and new one, of course while picking the winner's of this year's Academy Awards.

The boys go over all the essential categories from Best Score all the way to the grand-daddy of them all; "the award where they could have had 10 nominations, but they decided to go with eight."

Will "Boyhood" be this year's big winner? Will "Birdman" fly above the competition? Why was "Gone Girl" only nominated for one award? Why is the Academy in love with films that feature people with disabling diseases?  Is it a fetish that they secretly have that we don't know about?

All this and much more as the Simplistic Reviews Crew gives Hollywood the old "what-for."


Show Notes:

Hugh Jackman Hopping At Tony Awards


Music Notes: 

Blinded By The Lights By Streets,

That I'm Dreaming By Noel

If you're not interested in our ramblings, just check out our picks below:

Best Animated Feature*

Matt

Should Win: The Lego Movie / Will Win: Big Hero 6

DJ

Should Win: The Lego Movie / Will Win: How to Train Your Dragon 2

Justin

Should Win: The Boxtrolls / Will Win: How to Train Your Dragon 2

*Matt and DJ know that "The Lego Movie" isn't nominated, and it's a crime that it isn't.

Best Musical Score

Matt:

Should Win: The Grand Budapest Hotel / Will Win: The Theory of Everything

DJ:

Should Win: Interstellar / Will Win: The Theory of Everything

Justin:

Should Win: Interstellar / Will Win: Interstellar

Best Adapted Screenplay/Best Original Screenplay

Matt:

Should Win: Inherent Vice & Birdman / Will Win: American Sniper & Birdman

DJ:

Should Win: Whiplash & Birdman / Will Win: Whiplash & Birdman

Justin:

Should Win: The Theory of Everything & The Grand Budapest Hotel / Will Win: Sniper & Birdman

Best Cinematography

Matt:

Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Birdman

DJ:

Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Birdman

Justin:

Should Win: Grand Budapest Hotel / Will Win: Birdman

Best Director

Matt:

Should Win: Boyhood / Will Win: Boyhood

DJ:

Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood

Justin:

Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood

Best Supporting Actress

Matt:

Should Win: Emma Stone / Will Win: Patricia Arquette

DJ:

Should Win: Emma Stone / Will Win: Patricia Arquette

Justin:

Should Win: Emma Stone / Will Win: Meryl Streep

Best Supporting Actor

Matt

Should Win: Edward Norton / Will Win: J.K. Simmons

DJ:

Should Win: J.K. Simmons / Will Win: J.K. Simmons

Justin:

Should Win: J.K. Simmons / Will Win: J.K. Simmons

Best Actress

Matt:

Should Win: Rosamund Pike / Will Win: Julianne Moore

DJ:

Should Win: Rosamund Pike / Will Win: Julianne Moore

Justin:

Should Win: Rosamund Pike / Will Win: Julianne Moore

Best Actor*

Matt:

Should Win: Michael Keaton / Will Win: Eddie Redmayne

DJ:

Should Win: Jake Gyllenhaal / Will Win: Eddie Redmayne

Justin:

Should Win: Michael Keaton / Will Win: Bradley Cooper

*DJ understands Jake isn't nominated for "Nightcrawler" but he should have been.

Best Picture

Matt:

Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Birdman

DJ:

Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood

Justin:

Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood


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(Ep. 39): Miami Connection - Movie Commentary: February 2015

October 17, 2016

Friday Night Movie Night!

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Tagline: Survival the ultimate test...

The year is 1987. Motorcycle ninjas tighten their grip on Florida's narcotics trade, viciously annihilating anyone who dares move in on their turf. Multi-national martial arts rock band Dragon Sound have had enough, and embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice. When not chasing beach bunnies or performing their hit song "Against the Ninja," Mark (taekwondo master/inspirational speaker Y.K. Kim) and the boys are kicking and chopping at the drug world's smelliest underbelly. It'll take every ounce of their blood and courage, but Dragon Sound can't stop until they've completely destroyed the dealers, the drunk bikers, the kill-crazy ninjas, the middle-aged thugs, the "stupid cocaine"

...and the entire MIAMI CONNECTION!!!

Podcast Notes

Deleted Scene "Music Store"

Music

Dragon Sound "Friends"

Dragon Sound "Against The Ninja"

Miami Connection OST - Jon McCallum - Trainyard

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(Ep. 38): SR Podcast - Mid-February 2015

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

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On this mid-February edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys attempt to break the record for most obscenities and deplorable subject matter brought up while still staying under the guise of a film and television review program.  Jairo from the True Bromance Film Podcast stops by to help them accomplish their mission.  They discuss the Spidey-Pocalypse...they discuss Michael Jordan's Hitler mustache....they disgrace anyone who watched 50 Shades of Grey...and they get all their frustrations out on Hollywood with one of their favorite games, Hey F*%khead.  All that and more on the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  Seriously...take a shot whenever you hear an F-bomb. You'll be in rehab around halfway through

SHOW NOTES

MUSIC NOTES

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(Ep. 37): SR Podcast - February 2015

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

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In this Super Bowl Edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, we...um...don't talk about the Super Bowl.  We do talk to Dan Clark from The Talking In Circles Podcast.  Dan gives us his take on Pratt possibly being cast as Indiana Jones. In exchange for his well thought out analysis the boys force him to share deep dark secrets about himself on a segment we like to call Simply Ashamed.  DJ reveals how he lost his one true love, Matt reveals a hidden musical talent, and all three of them take great pleasure in the absurdity of the film Lean On Me.  All this and more on this Super Bowl/Non Super Bowl Edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast

SHOW NOTES

MUSIC NOTES

                           Check us out on FacebookTwitterYouTubeLetterboxd, and Pinterest

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(Ep. 36): SR Podcast - January 2015

October 17, 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

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It's a brand new year and a brand new episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  This month the boys are not just joined by a Vern...they are joined by The Vern from The As You Watch Podcast and The Vern's Video Video Vortex.  They pop his Simplistic cherry with a good ol' game of Kill, F&%k, Marry.  And like all guests, the boys decide to go Inside The Podcaster...yes...it's as gross as it sounds.  Also...Julie and Vern admit their feeling for each other.  All this and more on this January 2015 edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast

Show Notes

Bill Cosby

Deadpool Dead

No Bourne Crossover

Wolverine Dead

Quicksilver & Scarlet Witch No Longer Mutants

Fantastic Four Josh Trank Set Report

Batman v Superman Split

Music Notes

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme

G.I. Joe Theme

Thundercats Theme

Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul

Action In Memphis By Johnny Pearson

My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga

Inside The Actors Studio Theme Angelo Badalamenti

                           Check us out on FacebookTwitterYouTubeLetterboxd, and Pinterest

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