Simplistic Reviews Podcasts
Simplistic Reviews is everything your parents told you to not turn into. We talk and review movies, TV and games from the past and the present. Light that fire and bring the family in to enjoy, don’t worry if you don’t have a fire because we’ll always bring the warmth. Visit us at www.Simplistic.Reviews
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Episodes
Sunday Dec 25, 2016
Sunday Dec 25, 2016
Merry Christmas! From Simplistic Reviews
Silent Night, Deadly Night: Part 2
1987 ‧ R‧ Drama/Slasher ‧ 1h 28min
Trailer
The sequel picks up on Christmas Eve some years after the first movie, with Ricky Caldwell, the 18-year-old brother of the first film's killer, now being held in a mental hospital, awaiting trial for a series of murders that he committed. While being interviewed by the psychiatrist Dr. Henry Bloom, Ricky tells the story of the murders his brother Billy committed throughout a series of several flashbacks using footage from the original film. These flashbacks have new shots to make Ricky appear in more of Billy's original story.
To say Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is a good movie is an understatement. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is the greatest movie ever! Come on this is a fun movie to watch. You really have to give it to the team for making a 1hr 30min movie off a 30 page script. Yes I'm somewhat joking, but let's be honest this movie is freaking fun to watch. Every year people watch A Christmas Story or Christmas Vacation for Christmas but I watch Silent Night, Deadly Night 1 and 2. A Christmas Slasher is always a good time.
So this Christmas grab that eggnog and a bowl of that chocolate covered popcorn. Sit down next to that warm fire and lets watch Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2!
Sunday Dec 11, 2016
Sunday Dec 11, 2016
Suicide Squad - Extended Cut
2 hours, 14 minutes
Seriously? Yes I don't know why but we did another WB extended-we-don't-give-you-the-full-movie-the-first-time-cut.
What to say about a poorly made film. I mean a 8 year old with iMovie could do a better editing job.
And I feel bad for bringing the 8 year old this luckluster piece of crap.
DJ says it the best. "This is the biggest disappointment of the year".
So we know you really do not want to watch this film again but hell we gave it a try. So this Sunday Funday Movie Night lets give it a GO!
All Board the WB shitliner one more time!
This time the
S. S. We fooled you again...HAHAHA (Shitty Joker laugh)
Don't worry, this time we have Ted Lange as Your Bartender!
Suicide Squad
It feels good to be bad...Assemble a team of the world's most dangerous, incarcerated Super Villains, provide them with the most powerful arsenal at the government's disposal, and send them off on a mission to defeat an enigmatic, insuperable entity. U.S. intelligence officer Amanda Waller has determined only a secretly convened group of disparate, despicable individuals with next to nothing to lose will do. However, once they realize they weren't picked to succeed but chosen for their patent culpability when they inevitably fail, will the Suicide Squad resolve to die trying, or decide it's every man for himself?A secret government agency, led by the ruthless, high-ranking official Amanda Waller, recruits some of the most dangerous, incarcerated villains on the planet to execute dangerous black ops missions and save the world from a potentially apocalyptic threat from a mysterious, supernatural entity. If anything goes wrong on this mission, the government will not be liable but rather can place the blame on the villains, who are inherently evil people. A small bomb is implanted in each member of the squad's neck with the capability of detonating any time one of the members tries to rebel or escape. It will be up to this assembled team of villains to prevail over the seemingly impossible events that will unfold before them, in what many deem to be a "suicide mission".
Saturday Nov 19, 2016
Saturday Nov 19, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
On this Thanksgiving episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys talk about turkey and Donald Trump...A Minecraft movie and Donald Trump...Shelley Duvall and Donald Trump and who would win in a fight between Dracula and the Wolfman...oh an also why tackle our new Presidential overlord Donald J. Drumpf...all that and more on a turkey day episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. And that wasn't a typo, by the way. Donald Trump's real name is Drumpf...these are facts.
NOTES
Al Bundy Fights
Wolfman's Got Nards
All Your Base Are Belong To Us
Chickens Have Come Home To Roost
MUSIC
Hail To The Chief
The Incredible Hulk Theme By Daniel Caine Orchestra
Beast Atoms By L-Beazt
Sharp Minds By L-Beazt
Cocaine Model By ZHU
By The Croft By Joakim Karud
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Monday Oct 24, 2016
Monday Oct 24, 2016
YOUTUBE LINK
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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
On this spooktacular Halloween episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys discuss everything that goes bump in the night...from Deadpool director woes to a Captain Planet film from Leo. Matthew solves the mystery that is the Madea films. And the boys try to guess each other's Halloween costumes in a segment we're calling What Are You Supposed To Be. All that and more on this pumpkin spice latte version of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES
Madea film
Westworld
John Phillips
Pitch
Captain Planet by Leo
MUSIC
Halloween Theme by John Carpenter
It's The Great Pumpkin Waltz by Vince Guaraldi
Who Can It Be Now by Men At Work
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Friday Oct 21, 2016
Friday Oct 21, 2016
Child's Play 2 Play trailer on YouTube
1990 ‧ Slasher/Thriller ‧ 1h 24m
Movie Commentary Friday! (Is that a thing?)
Hey everyone! Welcome to another Movie Commentary. Halloween is creeping up on us so we're continuing with some more movies about murdering. Only this time its a grown man trapped into the workings of a children's doll. (Cue Disney themed music)
Whats that?! Another bloody movie commentary that involves children? Yeah we know. Listen we didn't plan this out, it was purely random. But hey guess what? Luck is on our side because Child's Play 2 is a million times better then that last one, especially in story structure.
So sit back and watch out for that old toy you forgot about in your closet. You know the one that you witness a man doing black magic on when Dad and you went to the bank that one time. Sure you remember, don't you? You know when the cops came and shot up the place? And as he pulled his bullet riddled-bloody body, he knew the only way to live was to transport his soul into your favorite toy?
No...why would you...that was me.
CHECK US OUT
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Welcome to another Friday Night Family Movie Night!
Beware! Children at Play1hr 34mins | Horror | 1989
Well that happened...
DJ and Justin just watched Beware Children at Play. And...Well...It's not so great. It is a slow boring movie that only picks up right at the end. Sure the topic of murdering demoniac crazy children is a fun idea to use in a movie but if you don't do anything with it then its pretty lousy. Hopefully the movie next time is a bit more enjoyable to watch, because even though this trailer looked amazing, the final product was just lame.
CUTTING ROOM FLOOR
Ep. 75 with Movie Background
Ep. 75 without Movie Background
:)
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
This month's show is themed around the genius of the late and great Gene Wilder. As we honor his legacy, we create our very own film monstrosities with a new segment called, "Frankenstein's Monster." Think soap in pillow cases and jackets with scorpions on the back...
We also "blaze" our own saddles and whip out some news in "Excuse Me While I Whip This Out." All this, and antics galore on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES
Taylor and the Loki-poki stick
The Devil in Ms. Jones
Joe Mangenello as Slade Wilson
Wonka's Tunnel of Love
Scooby Dax Shepard Doo
Halle Berry's Call
The Passing of a Wilder One
MUSIC
Let It Happen By Tame Impala
Blazing Saddles Theme
Young Frankenstein Lullaby
Springtime for Hitler
World of Pure Imagination
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Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Friday the 13th Part III
1982 | Slasher | 1hr 35min
Welcome to the first ever 3D Podcast! How is a audio only podcast in 3D? We have no idea...
Requested by Bradley Taylor,
Friday the 13th Part III once again follows murderer Jason Voorhees, who as a child drowned off the waters of Camp Crystal Lake. Is there anyone that can put an end to Jason's murderous rampage?
Friday the 13th Part III is a 1982 American 3D slasher film directed by Steve Miner and the third installment in the Friday the 13th film series. Originally released in 3-D, it is the first film to feature antagonist Jason Voorhees wearing his signature hockey mask, which has become a trademark of both the character and franchise, as well an icon in American cinema and horror films in general. As a direct sequel to Friday the 13th (1980) and Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), the film follows a group of co-eds on vacation at a house on Crystal Lake, where Jason Voorhees has taken refuge. (IMDB)
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
On this August edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys come back from their vacation and catch up with what they missed. JD Duran from Insession Film joins them for a game of Word Association and a brand new game called Simplistic Submarine. The entire Insession family also helps the boys with their ode to Jason Bourne. Yo-Ho-Ho mateys! All that and more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES
Dr. Strange Trailer
Wonder Woman Trailer
Justice League Trailer
Blair Witch Trailer
Kong Skull Island Trailer
Rocketeers
Fantastic Beasts Trailer
Hacksaw Ridge Trailer
MUSIC
Let It Happen By Tame Impala
1976 By RJD2
I Dream Of genie Remix
Chronos By Hi-Finesse
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Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Batman V Superman
2016 | Superhero | 181 minutes
Today on this 4th of July we fight a 3hr war, one we thought we would lose. But we made it through all 3hrs of Zack Snyder's poor choices to bring you another Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary. We're sure you have better things to do today. Drink and Eating come to mind. But the time may come when you must watch that
Batman V SupermanDawn of JusticeUltimate EditionExtended CutCollectors EditionMovie Commentary
Christ that's a mouthful. Then lets watch it together. A army of one. A uprising to be independent from unbelievable plot holes in a $250 million dollar movie. I mean it's crazy to think these people are professionals and still somehow find work.
So remember young ones. You don't need to jam 10 pounds of shit into a 5 pound bag. Fill up that first bag with all that needed shit and grab another 5 pound bag to finish stuffing that shit. Because having two bags of shit is okay, not one overstuffed bag of shit with plot holes throughout its 3hr run time is okay. Shit boys and girl, that just doesn't fly!