Simplistic Reviews Podcasts
Simplistic Reviews is everything your parents told you to not turn into. We talk and review movies, TV and games from the past and the present. Light that fire and bring the family in to enjoy, don’t worry if you don’t have a fire because we’ll always bring the warmth. Visit us at www.Simplistic.Reviews
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Episodes
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Today is movie commentary day! Today we watch the one and only Police Academy.
There isn't another movie in the likes of Police Academy. I mean how many movies include a human soundboard, extreme racism, a man in a horses ass and a surprise blow job to a 100 year old man (that could possibly be or not be by Steve Guttenberg).
Sounds like the perfect ingredients for the perfect film right? Well it is one of the funniest comedies ever made. So cue up that VHS copy of Police Academy and prepare to laugh at one of the more ridiculous comedies ever made.
SHOW NOTES
Vampire Academy Joke
Police Academy - Trailer
Police Academy - Theme Song
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Play-Doh! YA Vamp movies! Good Friday & Passover Combined! Get ready for the most eclectic episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast yet. Justin and DJ finally pay their debts to Matthew by finally reviewing Vampire Academy. And by reviewing...we mean trashing the hell out of it. They also discuss how Fox does something right with Deadpool...then something way, way wrong with Play-Doh. They also get their Artful Dodger on with the return of the segment Get Your Hand Out My Pocket. Guard your jewels in this Holy edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
SHOW NOTES
Play-Doh
Vampire Academy
Mad Max: Fury Road
Spectre
Best of Pennywise
Deadpool April Fools
We're No Angels
MUSIC NOTES
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals
Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul
Plain Jane By Sid Phillips
The He-Man Opening That The Boys Are Spoofing
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Thursday Movie Night!
Tonight's Movie Commentary is a little unknown film called
Nobody's Perfect
1990 - PG13 - 90mins - Comedy
Starring the famous Lowe brother, Chad Lowe. Nobody's Perfect is about Stephen (possibly looking for a way to cross dress) is a tennis loving college student you falls for Shelly a chick who apparently can't pick the right guys. To get closer Stephen becomes Stephanie to befriend Shelly. It's all wacky fun from there...oh and rape.
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
The Ides of March Approaches...and so does the March 2015 edition the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. On this episode the boys chastise the person responsible for allowing a 72 year old Harrison Ford into an airplane. Justin discovers a brand new...um...old show that is hilarious in all the right ways. DJ questions if the Tommy Lee Jones we've seen in public is the real Tommy Lee Jones. And Matt saves the lives of 3 people while eradicating another from existence. All that and more on this 1.21 gigawatt powered episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
SHOW NOTES
1.21 gigawatts
Danger 5
Harrison Ford plane crash
Diablo Barbie
Age of Ultron Trailer
Danny Elfman Music in Age of Ultron
Tommy Lee Jones commercial
Black & Blue or White & Gold Dress
MUSIC NOTES
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
Back To The Future Theme By Alan Silvestri
Back To The Future II Theme By Alan Silvestri
Back To The Future III Theme By Alan Silvestri
We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals
Welcome Back By Mase
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
Hooray for Hollywood? Naw, it's time to skewer Hollywood and rip them and new one, of course while picking the winner's of this year's Academy Awards.
The boys go over all the essential categories from Best Score all the way to the grand-daddy of them all; "the award where they could have had 10 nominations, but they decided to go with eight."
Will "Boyhood" be this year's big winner? Will "Birdman" fly above the competition? Why was "Gone Girl" only nominated for one award? Why is the Academy in love with films that feature people with disabling diseases? Is it a fetish that they secretly have that we don't know about?
All this and much more as the Simplistic Reviews Crew gives Hollywood the old "what-for."
Show Notes:
Hugh Jackman Hopping At Tony Awards
Music Notes:
Ecstasy of Gold Remix By Ennio Morricone,
Blinded By The Lights By Streets,
That I'm Dreaming By Noel
If you're not interested in our ramblings, just check out our picks below:
Best Animated Feature*
Matt:
Should Win: The Lego Movie / Will Win: Big Hero 6
DJ:
Should Win: The Lego Movie / Will Win: How to Train Your Dragon 2
Justin:
Should Win: The Boxtrolls / Will Win: How to Train Your Dragon 2
*Matt and DJ know that "The Lego Movie" isn't nominated, and it's a crime that it isn't.
Best Musical Score
Matt:
Should Win: The Grand Budapest Hotel / Will Win: The Theory of Everything
DJ:
Should Win: Interstellar / Will Win: The Theory of Everything
Justin:
Should Win: Interstellar / Will Win: Interstellar
Best Adapted Screenplay/Best Original Screenplay
Matt:
Should Win: Inherent Vice & Birdman / Will Win: American Sniper & Birdman
DJ:
Should Win: Whiplash & Birdman / Will Win: Whiplash & Birdman
Justin:
Should Win: The Theory of Everything & The Grand Budapest Hotel / Will Win: Sniper & Birdman
Best Cinematography
Matt:
Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Birdman
DJ:
Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Birdman
Justin:
Should Win: Grand Budapest Hotel / Will Win: Birdman
Best Director
Matt:
Should Win: Boyhood / Will Win: Boyhood
DJ:
Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood
Justin:
Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood
Best Supporting Actress
Matt:
Should Win: Emma Stone / Will Win: Patricia Arquette
DJ:
Should Win: Emma Stone / Will Win: Patricia Arquette
Justin:
Should Win: Emma Stone / Will Win: Meryl Streep
Best Supporting Actor
Matt
Should Win: Edward Norton / Will Win: J.K. Simmons
DJ:
Should Win: J.K. Simmons / Will Win: J.K. Simmons
Justin:
Should Win: J.K. Simmons / Will Win: J.K. Simmons
Best Actress
Matt:
Should Win: Rosamund Pike / Will Win: Julianne Moore
DJ:
Should Win: Rosamund Pike / Will Win: Julianne Moore
Justin:
Should Win: Rosamund Pike / Will Win: Julianne Moore
Best Actor*
Matt:
Should Win: Michael Keaton / Will Win: Eddie Redmayne
DJ:
Should Win: Jake Gyllenhaal / Will Win: Eddie Redmayne
Justin:
Should Win: Michael Keaton / Will Win: Bradley Cooper
*DJ understands Jake isn't nominated for "Nightcrawler" but he should have been.
Best Picture
Matt:
Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Birdman
DJ:
Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood
Justin:
Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Friday Night Movie Night!
Tagline: Survival the ultimate test...
The year is 1987. Motorcycle ninjas tighten their grip on Florida's narcotics trade, viciously annihilating anyone who dares move in on their turf. Multi-national martial arts rock band Dragon Sound have had enough, and embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice. When not chasing beach bunnies or performing their hit song "Against the Ninja," Mark (taekwondo master/inspirational speaker Y.K. Kim) and the boys are kicking and chopping at the drug world's smelliest underbelly. It'll take every ounce of their blood and courage, but Dragon Sound can't stop until they've completely destroyed the dealers, the drunk bikers, the kill-crazy ninjas, the middle-aged thugs, the "stupid cocaine"
...and the entire MIAMI CONNECTION!!!
Podcast Notes
Deleted Scene "Music Store"
Music
Dragon Sound "Friends"
Dragon Sound "Against The Ninja"
Miami Connection OST - Jon McCallum - Trainyard
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
On this mid-February edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys attempt to break the record for most obscenities and deplorable subject matter brought up while still staying under the guise of a film and television review program. Jairo from the True Bromance Film Podcast stops by to help them accomplish their mission. They discuss the Spidey-Pocalypse...they discuss Michael Jordan's Hitler mustache....they disgrace anyone who watched 50 Shades of Grey...and they get all their frustrations out on Hollywood with one of their favorite games, Hey F*%khead. All that and more on the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. Seriously...take a shot whenever you hear an F-bomb. You'll be in rehab around halfway through
SHOW NOTES
Michael Jordan Hitler Mustache
Rinko Kikuchi
The Nothing from The Neverending Story
The Wolf
MUSIC NOTES
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
20/20 Theme
Inside The Actors Studio Theme By Angelo Badalamenti
Great Escape Theme By Elmer Bernstein
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
In this Super Bowl Edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, we...um...don't talk about the Super Bowl. We do talk to Dan Clark from The Talking In Circles Podcast. Dan gives us his take on Pratt possibly being cast as Indiana Jones. In exchange for his well thought out analysis the boys force him to share deep dark secrets about himself on a segment we like to call Simply Ashamed. DJ reveals how he lost his one true love, Matt reveals a hidden musical talent, and all three of them take great pleasure in the absurdity of the film Lean On Me. All this and more on this Super Bowl/Non Super Bowl Edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast
SHOW NOTES
Oscar Mayer Weinermobile
Lean On Me
A Recorder
Black Mirror Pig Joke
Joker Explains How He Corrupted Harvey Dent
Purple Man
Bruce Jenner Is A Woman Now
MUSIC NOTES
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
It's A Shame Remix By The Spinners
Inside The Actors Studio Theme Angelo Badalamenti
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Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
It's a brand new year and a brand new episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast. This month the boys are not just joined by a Vern...they are joined by The Vern from The As You Watch Podcast and The Vern's Video Video Vortex. They pop his Simplistic cherry with a good ol' game of Kill, F&%k, Marry. And like all guests, the boys decide to go Inside The Podcaster...yes...it's as gross as it sounds. Also...Julie and Vern admit their feeling for each other. All this and more on this January 2015 edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast
Show Notes
Bill Cosby
Deadpool Dead
No Bourne Crossover
Wolverine Dead
Quicksilver & Scarlet Witch No Longer Mutants
Fantastic Four Josh Trank Set Report
Batman v Superman Split
Music Notes
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme
G.I. Joe Theme
Thundercats Theme
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
Action In Memphis By Johnny Pearson
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
Inside The Actors Studio Theme Angelo Badalamenti
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Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
You thought you might have heard the last of us this year.......uh, uh, uh. The Best...The Worst...The Most Anticipated...And More! The boys at Simplistic Reviews close off 2014 with a conversation about the best and worst films of the year. They also take a look into the future and geek out about their most anticipated films of 2015. Justin begs for movies in the future to make him laugh, Matt admits to having a thing for maniacs, DJ’s blood pressure spikes when talking about his most hated film, Julie makes an insensitive joke about North Korea, which more than likely prompts the site’s eventual hacking. Download and listen...while you can.
NOTES
Sigmund Freud Joke Explanation
BB-8
Terminator Genisys Trailer
London Has Fallen
The Sony Hack & Leaks
MUSIC
Luchini by Camp Lo
House of the King by Focus
Head Over Heels by Tears For Fears
We Gotta Get Outta This Place by The Animals...OUR NEW 2015 CLOSING THEME SONG!
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