Simplistic Reviews Podcasts
Simplistic Reviews is everything your parents told you to not turn into. We talk and review movies, TV and games from the past and the present. Light that fire and bring the family in to enjoy, don’t worry if you don’t have a fire because we’ll always bring the warmth. Visit us at www.Simplistic.Reviews
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Episodes
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
It's Monday
Movie Night
Movie Commentary!
Police Academy 2:
Their First Assignment
1985 / Comedy / 87 mins
We already watched the classic Police Academy.
So now we continue this marathon with its sequel Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment.
Many movie franchises have had equality or superior sequels. Movie franchises like The Godfather, The Dark Knight, Star Wars. Police Academy 2 is not one of them. In fact its the complete opposite and is a pretty bad film with only one good take away, Zed.
So sit back with the popcorn as we try to get though by having a few laughs at the expense of this weak sequel.
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Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
In honor of Mother's Day, The Simplistic Reviews Podcast has assembled their regular team of badass motherf*%kers to ring in the month of May. They touch on Suicide Squad...they touch on the Joss Whedon haters...they touch on Tom Brady's balls...all in an effort to entertain you. So sit back, give it a listen, and say hello to your mother for me.
6:37 Simplistic Showcase
36:53 TV Roundup
59:44 Hey F*%khead
Also as a special treat...here is an outtake that was too ridiculous not to share with the world
Show Notes
Redrum
Ally McBeal
Andy Kaufman
Lord Humongous
Music Notes
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals
Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul
The Great Escape Theme By Paul Bateman
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Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
You might be asking yourself, "What?! Another Simplistic Reviews Podcast? You mean these guys are actually getting off of their ass and putting out content for the public to consume?" Yes, it might sound crazy, but.....uh....yeah....another podcast....from us.....Simplistic Reviews.
As we get closer and closer to our grandest episode so far; Number 50, we look back at our lives and search for meaning, apparently that means we bring up Bill Cosby again, the fact that Iceman is now gay, Donatello is dead, and fantasize about Moira Quirk in that sexy referee outfit...mmmmmm.....
All this, and our newest segment, Simply Say Anything, where we hold a radio over our head and praise the likes of Lena Dunham, Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, and explain why Quentin Tarantino is actually the worst director in modern cinema. Have we lost our minds.....maybe....but we're not telling, and you'll just have to listen to this month's SIMPLISTIC REVIEWS PODCAST!!!! WHY AM I YELLING...IN PRINT?!?!?!
SHOW NOTES
Moira Quirk
Spider-man Shortlist
Tarantino in Sleep With Me
Donny is Dead
Iceman Gay?
Mark Summers' non-Double Dare accident
MUSIC NOTES
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals
Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul
In Your Eyes By Peter Gabriel
Nickelodeon GUTS theme
Human Beings By Van Halen
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Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Movie Commentary Time!
Slaughter High
1986 - 90 mins - Slasher/Horror
Today we watch and make fun of the 90 min B-Slasher film, Slaughter High. We know what you are saying, "It's finally here!" Since the Podcast gang has been talking about Slaughter High numerous times on Podcasts and even a episode on Unboxing/Reviews.
Slaughter High is about eight people that are invited to their 10-year high school reunion at their now-closed down high school where a former student, disfigured from a prank gone wrong, is there to seek revenge. Simple and to the point but it's got its issues.
Slaughter High is a fun, entertaining film of which everyone should see. If you haven't this is the perfect time to watch!
Also this Movie Commentary is sponsor by Tide Stick!
Remember kids, if you go on a murderous rampage bring along a Tide Stick!
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Today is movie commentary day! Today we watch the one and only Police Academy.
There isn't another movie in the likes of Police Academy. I mean how many movies include a human soundboard, extreme racism, a man in a horses ass and a surprise blow job to a 100 year old man (that could possibly be or not be by Steve Guttenberg).
Sounds like the perfect ingredients for the perfect film right? Well it is one of the funniest comedies ever made. So cue up that VHS copy of Police Academy and prepare to laugh at one of the more ridiculous comedies ever made.
SHOW NOTES
Vampire Academy Joke
Police Academy - Trailer
Police Academy - Theme Song
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Play-Doh! YA Vamp movies! Good Friday & Passover Combined! Get ready for the most eclectic episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast yet. Justin and DJ finally pay their debts to Matthew by finally reviewing Vampire Academy. And by reviewing...we mean trashing the hell out of it. They also discuss how Fox does something right with Deadpool...then something way, way wrong with Play-Doh. They also get their Artful Dodger on with the return of the segment Get Your Hand Out My Pocket. Guard your jewels in this Holy edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
SHOW NOTES
Play-Doh
Vampire Academy
Mad Max: Fury Road
Spectre
Best of Pennywise
Deadpool April Fools
We're No Angels
MUSIC NOTES
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals
Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul
Plain Jane By Sid Phillips
The He-Man Opening That The Boys Are Spoofing
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Thursday Movie Night!
Tonight's Movie Commentary is a little unknown film called
Nobody's Perfect
1990 - PG13 - 90mins - Comedy
Starring the famous Lowe brother, Chad Lowe. Nobody's Perfect is about Stephen (possibly looking for a way to cross dress) is a tennis loving college student you falls for Shelly a chick who apparently can't pick the right guys. To get closer Stephen becomes Stephanie to befriend Shelly. It's all wacky fun from there...oh and rape.
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
The Ides of March Approaches...and so does the March 2015 edition the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. On this episode the boys chastise the person responsible for allowing a 72 year old Harrison Ford into an airplane. Justin discovers a brand new...um...old show that is hilarious in all the right ways. DJ questions if the Tommy Lee Jones we've seen in public is the real Tommy Lee Jones. And Matt saves the lives of 3 people while eradicating another from existence. All that and more on this 1.21 gigawatt powered episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
SHOW NOTES
1.21 gigawatts
Danger 5
Harrison Ford plane crash
Diablo Barbie
Age of Ultron Trailer
Danny Elfman Music in Age of Ultron
Tommy Lee Jones commercial
Black & Blue or White & Gold Dress
MUSIC NOTES
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
Back To The Future Theme By Alan Silvestri
Back To The Future II Theme By Alan Silvestri
Back To The Future III Theme By Alan Silvestri
We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals
Welcome Back By Mase
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
Hooray for Hollywood? Naw, it's time to skewer Hollywood and rip them and new one, of course while picking the winner's of this year's Academy Awards.
The boys go over all the essential categories from Best Score all the way to the grand-daddy of them all; "the award where they could have had 10 nominations, but they decided to go with eight."
Will "Boyhood" be this year's big winner? Will "Birdman" fly above the competition? Why was "Gone Girl" only nominated for one award? Why is the Academy in love with films that feature people with disabling diseases? Is it a fetish that they secretly have that we don't know about?
All this and much more as the Simplistic Reviews Crew gives Hollywood the old "what-for."
Show Notes:
Hugh Jackman Hopping At Tony Awards
Music Notes:
Ecstasy of Gold Remix By Ennio Morricone,
Blinded By The Lights By Streets,
That I'm Dreaming By Noel
If you're not interested in our ramblings, just check out our picks below:
Best Animated Feature*
Matt:
Should Win: The Lego Movie / Will Win: Big Hero 6
DJ:
Should Win: The Lego Movie / Will Win: How to Train Your Dragon 2
Justin:
Should Win: The Boxtrolls / Will Win: How to Train Your Dragon 2
*Matt and DJ know that "The Lego Movie" isn't nominated, and it's a crime that it isn't.
Best Musical Score
Matt:
Should Win: The Grand Budapest Hotel / Will Win: The Theory of Everything
DJ:
Should Win: Interstellar / Will Win: The Theory of Everything
Justin:
Should Win: Interstellar / Will Win: Interstellar
Best Adapted Screenplay/Best Original Screenplay
Matt:
Should Win: Inherent Vice & Birdman / Will Win: American Sniper & Birdman
DJ:
Should Win: Whiplash & Birdman / Will Win: Whiplash & Birdman
Justin:
Should Win: The Theory of Everything & The Grand Budapest Hotel / Will Win: Sniper & Birdman
Best Cinematography
Matt:
Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Birdman
DJ:
Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Birdman
Justin:
Should Win: Grand Budapest Hotel / Will Win: Birdman
Best Director
Matt:
Should Win: Boyhood / Will Win: Boyhood
DJ:
Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood
Justin:
Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood
Best Supporting Actress
Matt:
Should Win: Emma Stone / Will Win: Patricia Arquette
DJ:
Should Win: Emma Stone / Will Win: Patricia Arquette
Justin:
Should Win: Emma Stone / Will Win: Meryl Streep
Best Supporting Actor
Matt
Should Win: Edward Norton / Will Win: J.K. Simmons
DJ:
Should Win: J.K. Simmons / Will Win: J.K. Simmons
Justin:
Should Win: J.K. Simmons / Will Win: J.K. Simmons
Best Actress
Matt:
Should Win: Rosamund Pike / Will Win: Julianne Moore
DJ:
Should Win: Rosamund Pike / Will Win: Julianne Moore
Justin:
Should Win: Rosamund Pike / Will Win: Julianne Moore
Best Actor*
Matt:
Should Win: Michael Keaton / Will Win: Eddie Redmayne
DJ:
Should Win: Jake Gyllenhaal / Will Win: Eddie Redmayne
Justin:
Should Win: Michael Keaton / Will Win: Bradley Cooper
*DJ understands Jake isn't nominated for "Nightcrawler" but he should have been.
Best Picture
Matt:
Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Birdman
DJ:
Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood
Justin:
Should Win: Birdman / Will Win: Boyhood
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Monday Oct 17, 2016
Friday Night Movie Night!
Tagline: Survival the ultimate test...
The year is 1987. Motorcycle ninjas tighten their grip on Florida's narcotics trade, viciously annihilating anyone who dares move in on their turf. Multi-national martial arts rock band Dragon Sound have had enough, and embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice. When not chasing beach bunnies or performing their hit song "Against the Ninja," Mark (taekwondo master/inspirational speaker Y.K. Kim) and the boys are kicking and chopping at the drug world's smelliest underbelly. It'll take every ounce of their blood and courage, but Dragon Sound can't stop until they've completely destroyed the dealers, the drunk bikers, the kill-crazy ninjas, the middle-aged thugs, the "stupid cocaine"
...and the entire MIAMI CONNECTION!!!
Podcast Notes
Deleted Scene "Music Store"
Music
Dragon Sound "Friends"
Dragon Sound "Against The Ninja"
Miami Connection OST - Jon McCallum - Trainyard